Feet of Clay

With my third recurrence of ovarian cancer, one might ask me or at least think, "Aren't you mad at, or at least questioning, God?" "Have you ever thought 'Why me, Lord'?" I am sorry to disappoint anyone, but no, I have not questioned or doubted God whose hand I am in still. Having cancer for the third time has nothing to God's love for me or His calling on my life. In fact, I think that it intensifies His calling on my life. Before the first occurrence in January 2005, I remember having said (to myself), "I am not sure how to identify with those who suffer because I really haven't suffered." I don't think that I got cancer in response to that rumination. I got cancer because I live in a broken world, a world broken by sin. Since God is no respecter of persons and "it rains on the just and the unjust alike," why would I be exempt from cancer? Because I am a Christian? Because I am an ordained minister? Because I pay my tithes? Because I "work" for the Lord? None of these things exempt me from the vagaries of life. I haven't particularly enjoyed this part of my journey, but I have learned some things. One of the first lessons was that He is God and I am not! I have certainly learned about suffering. I wonder if God heard me and just used this part of my life's journey to teach me some lessons. I certainly won't count that out. I am, after all, a human being with feet of clay.